Working with Teens

If you’re reading this you are most likely anywhere from 12 to 17 years old and have recently returned to in-person school after being virtual for over a year. You’re struggling to balance the demands of your new normal, school, friends, family and everyday life. You’re on top of all your school work, but are really stressed out inside. As soon as you’re able to take a breath, it feels like another assignment gets added to your plate. You notice yourself aimlessly scrolling through Instagram after school comparing yourself to all those “happy and perfect people”. You’re going through the same COVID-related school changes as your friends, but feel completely disconnected from them at the same time. Therapy intrigues you as a space to address your isolation, stress and overwhelm. Maybe you’ve heard a friend or two talk about their own therapy experiences or you follow a therapist on TikTok. I hope this blog helps to answer any questions you may have about starting the process. This can also be a space for your parent to better understand what our therapy would look like and how I can help.

What to Expect

If you have a friend that goes to therapy, I would recommend asking them who they see. If your friend finds their therapist to be a good fit, it’s possible you may too. I also recommend checking out websites like PsychologyToday.com and TherapyDen.com to find a therapist. On these sites, you can search by therapist gender, ages of people they work with, and issues they specialize in. Your parent may help you narrow down your search even more by confirming that your therapist accepts your family’s insurance. Once you’ve selected the therapist you’d like to work with, your parent will most likely have to call on your behalf to book your first appointment. They’ll provide demographic information and a little background. The therapist will then send you paperwork so that you can provide your own account of what you’d like to use your therapy for. Next, you’ll meet with that therapist for your first appointment. The therapist will use this initial appointment to get to know you, understand a little more about what brings you into therapy and how they can help. It’s extremely important that you feel comfortable with your therapist as that relationship is the strongest predictor of positive therapy outcomes.

Teen Confidentiality 

You may wonder if your parent will be present when you meet with your therapist for the initial appointment. Every therapist works differently. If you aren’t comfortable meeting with your therapist on your own for the first appointment and would like a parent present, I welcome that as a means to help you to feel more comfortable. After the first appointment, I want to be able to meet with you individually so that you can speak freely about everything that’s going on in your life without fear of being overheard.

I want to ensure that your privacy is protected so that you can best address your therapy goals. I recommend logging onto your therapy appointment from a private room – so no friends or family members in the background. When I work with you, I let your parent know the only information I disclose to them about your therapy is risk-related. This means that I would involve your parents if you are self-harming, suicidal or other risk issues are present. Everything else is kept completely confidential by me as confidentiality is key to effective therapy. In other words, you can freely share with me about your significant other, what’s going on with your best friend, or your fear that you failed a recent exam. If your parent reaches out to speak with me, I will let them know that I will be informing you that they reached out so that we can discuss what would be important for your parents to know to best support you in your therapy goals. As I specialize in working with families, I am happy to address any needs by having a family appointment when/if you and I feel like it would be helpful. 

How I Can Help

Once a confidential and comfortable relationship is established, I can help you to better understand any unhelpful thoughts that are making your stress, anxiety or depression worse. Our brains have a negativity bias – which means negative events stand out more to us and are difficult not to dwell on. Our therapy will help you to discover what some of these negative thoughts are about self and others, and together, we will challenge these thoughts through something called “reality testing”. Reality testing is when you go lawyer mode on your negative thoughts – in other words, you look for evidence that proves this negative thought correct or more importantly, proves the thought false! I find that most people have a hard time finding actual evidence that proves their negative thoughts true. You’ll find a lot more evidence that proves these negative thoughts false and be able to replace these negative thoughts with more realistic ones. For example, a negative thought would be, “I should have known better”. Over time, we could replace this thought with, “I did the best I could”. Seeing your life more realistically could help with your stress levels, anxious thoughts and help you to feel more satisfied in your relationship with others.